A Father’s Responsibilities
INTRODUCTION.
A. Our country has set aside this day in honor of fathers.
B. While this holiday is purely secular, not having been established by God or His word, it does bring to mind the necessity of understanding and reenforcing the Bible teachings regarding fathers.
C. Within my life, I have seen examples of fathers who were negligent in fulfilling their God given responsibilities. These examples of negligence range from father’s who did not discipline their children, did not show love to their children, all the way to “dead beat” fathers who refused to help support the children they had help to create.
D. On the other hand, I have also seen many examples of great fathers. Fathers who smother their children in love and discipline. I have seen fathers who would not hesitate to spank their child, and then to forgive and embrace their child. These fathers were more than icons of authority in their child’s life. They were active agents in their child’s life. These fathers were more than “friends” or “buddies” who left the disciplining process to the mother. These fathers led the charge in raising their children in the way of the Lord. They would use the rod of correction justly, fairly, and lovingly. They would embrace their children, love their children, and adore their children.
E. With this lesson, we will first look at a couple of examples of fathers and then move on to help show the father’s role in the family.
I. BIBLE EXAMPLES OF FATHERS.
A. Two fathers who fulfilled their responsibilities.
1. Abraham.
a. Abraham commanded his family in the way of serving the Lord. (Genesis 18:19)
b. Abraham set examples for his wife and son to follow. (Hebrews 11:8-11)
2. Joshua.
a. Joshua determined that he and his house would serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15)
b. By studying the life of Joshua, you will find that Joshua set the proper example for his family by serving the Lord.
B. Two fathers who failed to fulfill their responsibilities.
1. Lot.
a. Lot moved his family to a wicked city. (Genesis 13:10-13)
b. Lot placed wealth and gain over the spiritual needs of his family. (Genesis 13:10-11)
c. By Lot not putting his family’s spiritual needs first, he ended up sacrificing his family to the wicked influences of Sodom:
(1) His wife died, looking back on the burning city of Sodom. (Genesis 19:26)
(2) His daughters, undoubtedly influenced by the wickedness of Sodom, had sexual relations with their father, conceiving children. (Genesis 19:30-36)
2. Eli.
a. Eli failed in the raising of his sons. Eli did not try to restrain his sons who were evil. (1 Samuel 3:11-14)
b. The odd thing is that Eli was a priest. A priest should have known better, just as Christians today should know better today.
II. THE FATHER IS TO GUIDE HIS FAMILY.
A. From the beginning of time, God has ordained that the father is to lead or guide the family. Since there are two parties involved in a marriage, it stands to reason that one of the two must take the lead.
1. In the beginning, after Adam and Eve had sinned, God told Eve that her desire would be for her husband and that he would rule over her. (Genesis 3:16)
2. From the beginning of time to the establishment of the New Covenant, this rule has not changed. (Ephesians 5:22-24)
B. The father is to lead the family in the physical areas of life. The physical areas would be those areas of everyday affairs. The father must, in a proper and wise manner, guide his family down the road of life. Without guidance, the family will fall.
C. The father is to lead the family in spiritual areas of life. The spiritual areas are the areas of most importance. (Ex. Genesis 18:19)
1. A father will be the proper guide by:
a. Studying God’s word on a regular basis. (2 Timothy 2:15)
b. Lift up holy hands, praying to God. (1 Timothy 2:1-2, 8)
c. Live according to the word of God by walking in the Spirit. (Romans 8:9-11; Galatians 5:16-25)
2. Fathers, you must set the examples. Don’t be hypocrites! (Cf. Matthew 23:2-4) How will the family respect their father’s guidance if they do not see him as their guide?
III. THE FATHER IS TO PROTECT THE FAMILY.
A. God teaches that the husband is to protect his wife.
1. The woman is considered the weaker vessel. (1 Peter 3:7)
2. The proper love for one’s wife demands protection for the wife and family. (Ephesians 5:25-28)
B. A husband must also protect his family from the fiery darts of Satan. He should use the shield of faith. (Ephesians 6:16)
1. The husband can protect his family by not allowing any wicked influences into the safe haven of his home. (Psalms 101:3-4; 1 Corinthians 15:33)
a. Movies?
b. Books?
c. Television shows?
d. Radio?
2. The family activities should be governed by the Word of God. The father, in order to protect his family from Satan, must insist and even command that God’s word be followed.
a. Colossians 3:17
b. Ephesians 4:1-3 - Walk in a manner worthy of the calling
c. Ephesians 4:17-24 - Do not walk as the world
d. Ephesians 4:25-32 - Things to avoid and things to embrace
3. What good will a nice home and a fancy car do the members of his family if they end up losing their souls?
C. Sometimes, protecting the family involves disciplining the family.
1. The father must discipline the family with instructions and corrections. This would be involved in ruling well one’s house. (Cf. 1 Timothy 3:4-5)
2. The father must exercise physical discipline when necessary, but only to the children.
a. Solomon taught his sons about physical discipline.
(1) Solomon to his son. (Proverbs 1:8,10,15; 2:1; 3:1,11,21; 4:10,20; 5:1,20; 6:1,3,20; 7:1; 19:27; 23:15,19,26)
(2) Solomon told his son to withhold not the rod of correction. (Proverbs 13:24; 22:15; 23:13,14; 29:15)
b. Fathers, Solomon told his sons to use the rod of correction on their own children. Fathers, take these words to heart.
c. Do not make the mother the “bad guy.” Too often, the father is the “buddy” and the mother is the “meanie.” Fathers, walk as a man of God, one who follows God’s instructions for disciplining your children.
IV. THE FATHER IS TO PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY.
A. Provide for the physical needs of the family.
1. From the beginning of time, God commanded the man to work in order to provide for his family. (Genesis 3:17-19)
2. Because of his love for his family, the father should be willing to work nearly any job in order to provide for his family. (Ephesians 5:25-28)
3. Paul referred to the person who is unwilling to provide for his family as being worse than an infidel (unbeliever). (I Timothy 5:8) This “anyone” would clearly include the father.
4. There is no room for “dead beat dads” within the home, whether the home is intact or divorced.
5. Too many of our young men are not being taught the importance and the necessity of providing for their own future families.
B. Provide for the spiritual needs of the family.
1. Fathers are to teach God’s word to their families. (Ephesians 6:4; 2 Timothy 3:16-17)
2. Because of his love for his family, a father should try to provide his family whatever is necessary in order for the family members to be pleasing in the eyes of God. (Ephesians 5:25-28)
3. The father must teach his family to pray, to study, to always stand up for God, and to support and defend the church of Christ, which is the body of Christ.
4. As with the physical provisions, too many of our young men are not being raised up to understand the importance and the necessity of properly providing their future families with God’s word.
CONCLUSION.
A. To fathers, the question must be asked, “Are you leading your families, protecting your families, and providing for your families, in both the physical and the spiritual areas?
B. If not, then do your best to change. Please remember, no matter how important the physical needs of the family are, the needs of their souls will always take precedence. If you are not fulfilling the role of the father as you should be, then now is the time to change. Please do not delay; your family and their souls are at stake.
C. To mothers and children, the question must be asked, “Do you fully appreciate the burden of responsibility that is placed upon your fathers and husbands? Do you make his role easier or harder?” Wives, obey God by being in subjection to your husband. Children, obey God by obeying and honoring your fathers.
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A Father's Responsibilities -- June 15, 2003 -- File # 2566
by John M. Duvall -- Lawton, OK