Marriage: Facts and Rules
INTRODUCTION.
A. The husband and wife’s relationship can be the source for great pleasure and delight here on this earth, or the marriage can become the greatest source of heartache and pain.
B. There are many threats which families face. More often than not, the treats come from within the family.
C. Many people enter into the bonds of marriage without fully understanding the facts and rules of the marital relationship.
D. It is the purpose of this lesson to show the facts and rules of the marriage relationship as commanded by God. Please bear in mind that this is not an elbow sermon. Instead, this sermon is intended for personal application, not a reason behind finger pointing.
I. MARRIAGE: ORDAINED BY GOD
A. In the beginning, on the sixth day, God created man and woman. Genesis 1:27 reads, “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (NKJV) God saw that the man and woman’s relationship as husband and wife was good. (Cf. Genesis 1:31)
B. God ordained that a man and a woman should live together as man and wife. (Genesis 2:22-25)
C. According to Jesus, this marriage relationship is to continue until death. Jesus said, “. . . Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6, NKJV)
D. Marriage is a God ordained relationship between one man and one woman for life.
II. MARRIAGE: WHAT IT PROVIDES.
A. The marriage relationship provides suitable companionship for a man and a woman. The scriptures teach that God made them “male and female.” In his combination or coupling we see companionship. (Genesis 1:27)
B. The marriage relationship provides a completeness for the man and the woman. Take notice that the woman was given to the man, not as a slave, but as a helper comparable or suitable. One man plus one woman equals completeness. (Genesis 2:18)
1. God decided to make for man a “helper comparable” (NKJV), “help meet” (KJV), “helper suitable” (NASV), “suitable partner” (CEV), and a “companion who will help him” (NLT).
2. The Bible never teaches that the woman is a slave to her husband. She is a helper. A helper is one who helps another accomplish a task. The husband’s task is to provide for, take care of, instruct, and watch over his household. The wife is to be a suitable helper or partner to help him accomplish these God given responsibilities.
C. The marriage relationship provides an opportunity for true commitment.
1. The man was told to leave and cleave. (Genesis 2:24)
2. This shows commitment, not a sense of roaming or wandering from woman to woman.
D. The marriage relationship provides a means of wholesome cooperation.
1. The Lord said that the man and wife were “one flesh” or in unity. When two are in unity, they are in cooperation in an endeavor. (Genesis 2:24)
2. In the case of a man and his wife, the unity or cooperation is in their raising of children, providing for the home, caring for the home, and walking hand in hand to the gates of Heaven.
E. The marriage relationship provides moral protection for the man and the woman.
1. The marital relationship provides a lawful outlet or means to fulfill the sexual desires that exist between men and women.
2. While outside of marriage, the sexual activities are wrong and are an abomination before the Lord. Within the marriage relationship, the bed is undefiled. (Hebrews 13:4)
3. Paul said that marriage is a lawful means to avoid fornication. (1 Corinthians 7:1-5)
F. The marriage relationship provides a relationship through which God authorizes procreation.
1. God told the first husband and wife, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. . .” (Genesis 1:28, NKJV; cf. Genesis 4:1)
2. Parents who have children should view them as a heritage (inheritance) and a reward from the Lord. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” (Psalms 127:3, NKJV)
III. MARRIAGE: GOD’S RULES.
A. The marriage relationship is a lifetime covenant and commitment between one man and one woman.
1. What God has joined together, let no man separate. (Matthew 19:3-6)
2. The apostle Paul taught that marriage was for life. (Romans 7:2) “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.” (Romans 7:2, NKJV)
B. Within the marriage relationship, the spouses are to love each other and they are to show that love.
1. Ephesians 5:25-29
a. “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (v. 25)
b. “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” (v. 28)
c. “but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” (v. 29)
(1) nourishes - ektrepho {ek-tref’-o} 1) to nourish up to maturity, to nourish 2) to nurture, bring up (Enhanced Strong’s Lexicon)
(2) cherishes - thalpo {thal’-po} 1) to warm, keep warm 2) to cherish with tender love, to foster with tender care (Ibid.)
(3) A husband who takes to heart the command to nourish and cherish his wife will most certainly show his wife his love by putting her cares and wants before his own cares and wants.
2. 1 Peter 3:7 - “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7, NKJV)
a. Understanding (knowledge) - gnosis {gno’-sis}- “primarily “a seeking to know, an enquiry, investigation” (Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words)
b. Honor - time {tee-may’} - 1) valuing by which the price is fixed 2) honour which belongs or is shown to one (Enhanced Strong Lexison)
c. A husband who loves his wife will seek to know and understand his wife, he will value her, giving her and showing her honor which belongs to her and will treat her as a valuable and fragile vessel. He will neither be physically abusive nor verbally abusive.
3. Titus 2:4 - “that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,” (Titus 2:4, NKJV)
a. Love - philandros {fil’-an-dros} -
(1) loving her husband (Enhanced Strong’s Lexicon)
(2) primarily, “loving man,” signifies “loving a husband,” Titus 2:4, in instruction to young wives to love their husbands, lit., “(to be) lovers of their husbands.” (Vines Complete Expository of Old and New Testament Words)
(3) fond of man, i.e. affectionate as a wife:— love their husbands. (New Strong’s Dictionary of Hebrew and Greek Words)
b. The wife is commanded to love her husband. Based on the meaning of philandros, we see that this love is a shown love. The wife is to love and to show love towards her husband.
C. Each spouse is to provide for the needs of the other spouse.
1. Provide emotional needs. (I.e. self-worth, appreciation, compassion, sympathy, kindness, build up, etc.)
2. Provide affectionate needs. (1 Peter 3:7; Ephesians 5:25-29; Titus 2:4)
3. Provide intimate needs. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
4. Provide physical needs.
D. Spouses are to recognize and accept their God given role within the marital relationship.
1. Husbands are to be the head of the family. (Ephesians 5:25-33)
2. Wives are to be in subjection to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33)
3. Wives are to be keepers at home. They are to manage the home. (Titus 2:4)
4. Based upon the instructions given to Adam, the husbands appears to bear the primary responsibility for providing for the family. (Genesis 3:17-19)
a. It is important to note, however, that both spouses bear a level of responsibility to making certain that the needs of the family are met. This may mean that the wife helps to provide the income, or in some circumstances, is the sole income provider in those cases where the husband is physically unable.
b. 1 Timothy 5:8 - “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8, NKJV)
c. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 - “For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.” (2 Thessalonians 3:10, NKJV)
E. God’s rules in review:
1. A lifetime covenant and commitment between one man and one woman.
2. The spouses are to love each other.
3. Each spouse is to provide for the needs of the other spouse.
4. Spouses are to recognize and accept their God given role within the marital relationship.
CONCLUSION.
A. Is your marriage fashioned according to the facts and rules found within the word of God? If not, then both the husband and the wife should work to improve their part of the equation. Both must work to make certain that their marriage is built upon the facts and rules established by God.
B. If you are not married, but will one day be considering it, then strive to always remember the facts and rules of the marriage relationship. When you finally find that special person, you will then be equipped to begin preparing for a marriage that is established upon the principles of God’s holy word.
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Marriage: Facts and Rules -- February 9, 2003 -- File # 2592
by John M. Duvall – Lawton, OK