Fighting to Save Your Marriage
INTRODUCTION.
A. Is your marriage worth fighting for?
1. According to Hebrews 13:4, marriage is honorable, esteemed, or precious.
2. Solomon told his son to rejoice with the wife of his youth. (Proverbs 5:18-20)
3. This is a question that only you can answer. I can show you reasons why your marriage is worth saving. However, unless you desire to save and protect your marriage, then nothing I say will provoke you to take defensive or offensives steps to save your marriage.
B. Your marriage is worth saving. Your vows are worth honoring.
C. With this lesson, we will consider reasons why your marriage is worth saving and is, therefore, worth fighting for.
I. MARRIAGE WAS ORDAINED BY GOD.
A. God created Eve for Adam. (Genesis 3:18-25)
B. When two people enter into marriage, God joins them together. (Matthew 19:6 - “. . . what God has joined together . . .”)
C. What God has joined together, man is not to put asunder or separate. (Matthew 19:6)
D. Marriage is a life time commitment. (Matthew 19:6; Romans 7:2-3)
II. MARRIAGE IS FOUNDED UPON LOVE.
A. The husband is to love his wife. (Ephesians 5:25-31)
B. The wife is to love her husband. (Titus 2:3-5)
C. Love is a choice. If you did not love your fiancee, then you never should have married him or her.
1. When you said, “I do,” you were vowing your unending love for your spouse.
2. You vowed to love no one else above your spouse.
D. Love does no harm. (Romans 13:10) The same would apply to the love within a marriage relationship.
1. Consider the example seen in Malachi 2:13-17 when husbands had dealt treacherously with their wives.
2. True love can heal all hurt, but continuous hurt can eventually destroy love.
III. MARRIAGE IS ESTABLISHED UPON COMMITMENT.
A. Voluntary commitment.
1. The man chooses to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. (Genesis 2:24)
2. The woman voluntarily leaves the rule of her mother and father and willingly submits herself to her husband. (Ephesians 5:22, 33; 1 Peter 3:1)
B. Lifetime commitment.
1. What God has joined together, let no man separate. (Matthew 19:6)
2. The wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. (Romans 7:2-3)
C. Expressed commitment.
1. Consider the following example of vows recited during a wedding ceremony:
a. To the groom: Do you, _________, take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to love and respect her, honor and cherish her, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and adversity; and leaving all others to keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live?
b. To the bride: Do you, __________, in like manner solemnly agree to receive this man as your lawfully wedded husband, to love and respect him, and to live with him in all faith and tenderness, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and adversity; and leaving all others to keep yourself only unto him, so long as you both shall live?
2. In the aforementioned set of vows, both the bride and the groom vowed to:
a. love and respect each other as long as they both live.
b. to stay together through good health and in sickness as long as they both live.
c. to stay together through times of prosperity and adversity as long as they both live.
d. to leave all others and keep themselves only for their spouse as long as they both live.
3. Make your vows meaningful by honoring them and abiding by them.
CONCLUSION.
A. Your marriage is worth fighting for!
1. The love you expressed for your spouse demands that you fight to save your marriage.
2. Your marriage vows demand that you fight to save your marriage.
3. God’s instructions for the husband and wife demand that you fight to save your marriage.
4. Your children demand that you fight to save your marriage.
B. Every marriage should exist with the understanding that what God has joined together, let no man or woman separate.
1. What about death? Death cannot be helped. At some point, your marriage will end with the death of a spouse. You have no choice in the matter.
2. What about fornication?
a. Yes, fornication is the only exception granted by God in the ending of your marriage.
b. However, your existing love for your guilty spouse demands that you think long and hard before condemning your spouse to a life time of singleness, possible loneliness, and celibacy. Is there anything you can do to forgive them and then make the marriage work?
c. Consider Matthew 7:12. Before you divorce your spouse for fornication, ask yourself how you would desire to be treated if you had been the one to commit fornication.
d. There are times when a spouse continuously engages in fornication. At that point you have to determine if your spouse could and would change. There are instances where the guilty spouse will not change because it is a lifestyle that he has chosen to life.
e. Also, if you are also guilty of fornication, consider the hypocrisy in putting away your spouse for the very same sin of which you are guilty.
C. If your marriage is sound, fight to keep it sound.
D. If your marriage is falling apart, fight with all your might to keep your marriage together.
E. If you are divorced, is there anything you can do to be reconciled to your spouse?
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Fighting to Save Your Marriage -- February 8, 2004 -- File # 2592
by John M. Duvall -- Lawton, OK